just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
