You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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