Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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