i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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