Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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