do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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