alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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