Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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