brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
