I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
