And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
