things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
