i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
