i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
