this beer tastes like vomit already
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
