I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
