At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
