I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
