Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
