"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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