6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
