No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
