I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
