I think I am morally bankrupt
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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