so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
