it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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