This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
soo... how was my night?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
