i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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