I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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