i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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