In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
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dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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