Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
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Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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