DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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