FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
