I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
