You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
