I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
