you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize