I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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