Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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