Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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