Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
