I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize