Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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