I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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