We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
