if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
