It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
