Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
