i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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