I must be too annoying 4 u.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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