I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
