the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
