Already got asked if we're dating
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high