barbara walters just said penis...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?