Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them