He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
