Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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